Compassionate communication is based on the belief that every action a human being is doing is born out of a need he/she is trying to meet.
The four simple steps compassionate communication is build on are:
1 To say what was observed happening (in a conflict it is usually what happened that upset us or the other.)
2 To say what the feelings are.
3 To say what the underlying wants, needs, values or importances are. (usually what you wanted to happen or were afraid wouldn't happen.)
4 (Optionally) To make a request of the other.
These 4 steps are used in 2 different ways depending on:
A) If we are trying to tell another honestly about what is happening with us, or
B) If we are trying to help another tell us what is happening with them.